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THE CODE
🦸♀️Beyond “Just Be More Confident”….
You’re in the meeting. You have the sharper idea. You deliver it clearly. Silence. Then someone says, “Great point… anyway.”
Later, the feedback lands: “You just need to be more confident.”
If you’re like most of us, you nod, smile, and go home wondering what’s wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. The advice, however, is broken.
Confidence isn’t a light switch you flip. It’s a battery that only charges when your voice is repeatedly heard, valued, and rewarded.
Today’s newsletter is about charging that battery—on your terms, with moves you can start this week, no permission required.
👣 My own journey to confidence
Early in my career I got my dream speaking slot at a major conference. I prepared like a maniac. Slides perfect, demos flawless, jokes timed.
I walked off stage to polite applause and one person told me, “You did great! Next time just be more confident.”
I wanted to scream. I was confident going in. The room drained it out of me in twelve minutes.
That day taught me the truth: confidence isn’t the starting point. It’s the outcome.
When we’re told to “just be more confident,” we handed a goal without a system. So we either:
Fake it and exhaust ourselves, or
Stay quiet and watch opportunities pass to people who look the part.
There’s a third path: build the evidence that your voice belongs, one deliberate repetition at a time.
Repetition → Habit → Comfort
👩💻 Systems that charge your confidence Batteries
Here are five systems I wish someone had handed me back then. They all work even when the room isn’t on your side yet.
Create Your Own Runway
Stop waiting for the “big stage.” Book yourself for three tiny talks in the next 60 days (lunch-and-learns, local meetups, internal tech shares, even a 10-minute Lightning Talk on Zoom). Each one is a rep. Ten reps = a new normal.
Pre-Sell Your Ideas (Politely)
Before any meeting or presentation, message 2–3 allies: “Hey, I’m planning to suggest X in tomorrow’s sync. If it resonates with you, I’d love a quick +1 when I say it.” Most people say yes. Now you have guaranteed oxygen in the room.
Use the “Two-Sentence Rule”
When you speak, deliver your point in two sentences max, then stop. No extra justification, no “does that make sense?” Silence is power. The room will fill it—and suddenly you look decisive.
Build a Highlight Reel Only You Can See
Keep a running note called “Wins.” Every time someone says “good point,” implements your code, or retweets you—drop it in. Review it the morning of anything scary. Your brain believes evidence faster than affirmations.
Ask for the Specific Feedback You Actually Need
Replace “How was I?” with “What’s one thing I could do to make my next talk even stronger?” You’ll get actionable input instead of vague “be more confident” nonsense—and you stay in control of your growth.
These aren’t hacks to “seem” confident. They’re deliberate practices that produce real confidence as a byproduct.
You don’t need a perfect room. You need a repeatable process that works in imperfect rooms—because that’s where the promotions, raises, and invitations live.
Start small, stack evidence, watch the feeling follow.
THE RUN
🥷Three Moves You Can Make Before Friday:
The 24-Hour Talk Commitment
Today, pick one low-stakes stage (team meeting, Slack thread, local meetup) and commit out loud: “I’ll share a 5-minute update on X this week.” Tell one person so you can’t back out.
The Ally Ask Script (copy-paste it)
“Hey [Name], I’m bringing up the new caching strategy in standup tomorrow. If you like the idea, could you back me with a quick ‘I agree, and here’s why’? Means a lot.” 9 out of 10 people will say yes. You just engineered comfort.
The Post-Meeting Win Capture
After your next meeting, spend 60 seconds writing down one moment your idea landed (even if it was small). Evidence compounds faster than doubt.
You’ve got the expertise. Now go collect the proof that the world is ready for it.
P.S. Hit reply and tell me which of the five systems you’re trying first. I’ll cheer you on personally. 🔥
THE WRAP
Before You Go:
✨Keep Shining,
Barkha
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